How To Start Loving Your Voice

"I don't like the sound of my voice."

"I wish I projected a more compelling presence."

I hear these sentiments (in so many words) expressed frequently in the coaching I do with individual professionals from all walks of life.

You probably know that a lot of people aren't happy with the way they sound, especially on recordings, and you might even be one.

The advice I offer deals predominantly with voice, not speech or accent. It's your voice that breathes life into your words, allowing your message to resonate with others on a deep level. This remarkable instrument, unique to you, reveals your inner world – thoughts, feelings, and ideas – broadcasting them directly outward.

You are not a talking head.

The mistake many people make is that they focus more on listening to their voice than feeling their voice. One thing I tell my clients is "Put your brain in your belly." When you do this, your voice has more depth and soul. Confident voices have body, just as good wines do.

It's a challenge though to keep our attention in our body when our head loves to distract us. I've found that people who speak as if they are listening their voice often have flat, fast speech. They are most likely expending much of their energy on judging how they sound.

I have found that most people have not made the mind-body-voice connection, and that when they understand the extent to which the body feeds the voice, they are better able to find the confident, powerful voice they were born with.

One of the clearest lessons from neuroscience is that our sense of ourselves is anchored in a vital connection with our bodies. The truth that's been uncovered is closer to "I think—and feel; therefore I am."

Turn off the inner microphone.

Turn off the inner microphone in your head and pay attention to the inner body to feel your voice instead. Feeling your voice takes you to the part of the body that creates the sound, so you have more control in how you produce it.

When you lock your attention away in your head and focus on listening to yourself, you only have limited attention to notice and hear other people; it cuts you off from the rest of the world. You can't hear yourself accurately anyway, due to bone conduction vs. air conduction, so you are wasting your energy. When you put your attention into your body and feel your voice, it gives you enough feedback to speak with power and confidence.

A fully vibrating body produces a fully alive voice. When you speak, it shouldn't sound like it's coming from a hole in your head relaying information. When your voice is connected to your body and carried by your life force—your breath, the words you send out on it carry something uniquely meaningful.

If you would like some exercises to help you connect your voice to your body, send me a note. There are simple steps you can take to help you find a voice that resonates uniquely, with depth and a natural, inner confidence.

To you and your uniquely resonant voice.

"The best style is the style you don't notice."
Somerset Maugham