To “Uh” is Human, To “Um” is, You Know… Kind of Divine
Forget Hard Rules About Fillers
I’ve never felt comfortable with hard-and-fast rules—like “eliminate all fillers from your speech” or “don’t use incomplete sentences to expand on a thought!” Toastmasters serves many valuable purposes, but the idea that “um” counts against you always felt a bit… detached. It made me pride myself on spotting speakers who had been “Toastmaster-ized.”
Authenticity isn’t perfection. Being flawless doesn’t automatically make you relatable.
What Are Fillers, Really?
Linguists dissect language down to the tiniest details, including the fillers that pepper everyday speech.
- Filled pauses like uh and um
- Discourse markers like you know, I mean, well, of course, so, like
Many people lump both together as “fillers,” but they actually serve different purposes.
In this post, we’ll focus on uh and um.
Why “Uh” and “Um” Matter
Humans aren’t born perfect communicators. Crafting thoughts into coherent sentences takes work. Uh and um aren’t mistakes—they signal to listeners that your brain is actively building ideas.
The more complex the idea, the more these sounds appear. Explaining a new concept naturally produces more “ums” than reciting a grocery list. Your brain is working harder, and the fillers show it.
Studies even suggest listeners may tune in more when they hear an um, anticipating something original or carefully thought out.
A 2023 study found that using um in conversation correlated with high-alliance interactions, empathy, social support, and positive outcomes.
Context Is Key
Repetitive fillers can distract and make a speaker seem nervous or unprepared. Awareness helps you replace them with a simple pause when needed.
Prepared speakers naturally use fewer ums and uhs. Familiarity with the material reduces cognitive strain, making your speech smoother and more confident.
“Um” vs. “Uh”: What’s the Difference?
The choice between um and uh is revealing:
- Uh: Appears when a specific word is on the tip of your tongue, like forgetting a name. It acts as a placeholder while your brain searches for the missing piece.
- Um: Signals you might disagree or offer unexpected information. For example: “Um, not really a fan of horror movies” prepares the listener for a mild contradiction.
Disfluencies as a Tool
Even the masters understood the power of the well-placed disfluency. Winston Churchill, whom I’ve written about in past blogs, knew the power of strategically placed pauses and actually wrote side notes in his speech notes like “stammer here” and “pause here.” These weren’t mistakes; they were deliberate tools to add emphasis, humanity and weight to his words.
Picasso’s idea of creativity applies to speech, too: small hesitations and pauses add nuance and make communication more human.
Gender, Age, and Fillers
Women and young people tend to use um more. While some perceive this as less competent, research suggests it evolved as a discourse marker—a way to signal that a point may contradict a previous statement. Language evolves, and women often lead these trends.
The Bottom Line
Next time you utter an um or uh, don’t worry! They indicate your brain is actively building ideas. Think of them as “progress markers” in a construction zone—signs of thought in action.
In casual conversation, a sprinkle of fillers adds natural flow. In formal presentations, keep them in check for a polished, professional delivery.